requiem

originally written sept 09, 2005

A strange thought of never reaching the ripe old age of fifty—make that thirty, constantly knocks at your temporals (Yes, you do have temporals!). No matter how much you try to shove it out of your consciousness, it continues to ring at the back of your head. You must be tired of hearing: think and become, but if this is true, that ringing thought of never reaching your thirties must be underway. Say, that leaves you with 8 wonderful years before your time is up. Well, eight years would be too short if you have so much ahead of you. Otherwise, it could prove to be the longest winding trip you’d ever have to endure. Talk about relativity.

Often, people never realize the urgency of getting things done (and perhaps even enjoying life to the fullest, spelled as l-i-v--i-n-g) until they are given deadlines. Call it whatever you want to call it—cut-off date, closing date, deathday (well we have birthdays…), crossing-over and whatnots, but certainly, there is really something special about dying—let alone dying young.

Death has a lot of names. (If you’re in the mood for something corporeal, you can always imagine Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black) Death can be a mere concept for most people. Still, others think it is just a phase in a continuing spiritual progression. Statisticians, epidemiologists and a throng of other scientists call it morbidity, fatality, often in relation with attrition. Medical doctors say, the patient expired at 12:30 am…Reporters write it off as casualties, killings, murders… Obituaries try to sound rather more sensitive with something like: Atty. Ebishi X. Waysse, RMT, PhD, MD, RN has peacefully joined his Creator… (As if they were certain about him joining his Creator…really?) People who empathize with a mourning family nice-Nelly their way with “we grieve for your loss… what an early demise… we will always find comfort in realizing that his passing away is just the beginning…” and loads of other euphemisms.

Perhaps we can all dispense with the sugarcoating. Let’s call it death—plainly, the end of mortal life, just another deadline (or is it?).

Zap. Game over. Finished or not, hand over your papers!

No one knows when it will strike, just like a thief in the night…But when you know that death is coming, sooner than later, everything changes.

Your priorities take a sweeping turn. What about busying yourself spending time with your mum or dad for an entire day doing things you two love doing together? You start living each day as if it were your first experience of being alive knowing too sure that it would be one among the last. You learn to take each day as it comes and you get neither scared nor sorry when it’s time to let go.

You come up with your list of things-to-do-before-the-big-day. And you’d probably find yourself scribbling things you never thought would even concern you.

You learn to become more appreciative of people and more thankful for precious moments. It wouldn’t hurt leaving that constraining force, that is your computer, and take a little time off with your kids, or a good ol’ friend, or your husband or wife who’s been missing you forever.

Why does it have to take death or the nearness of death, to nudge you back and realize that, in truth, you want to live long enough to be the best son or daughter you can be, or simply, the best person you could manage. You realize that you’re willing to do anything, just so you could add a few more years to your life doomed to last less than a decade? You realize things too late and acknowledge that you do need more time. Then again, that’s how things go. You learn by going where you have to go…Your being now seemed to transcend death itself. You see things differently. Beyond each death—perhaps your own, there are thousands of stories untold and the countless lives you’ve touched will never be the same again.