the man i barely knew

Attending a memorial service halfway through the seventh installment of the Harry Potter series – aptly titled the Deathly Hallows, was completely opportune. I barelyknew the man; he was the husband of a close relative. I came to the service with my family only because the widow is family, and perhaps because of my personal belief that it is part of my commitment as a Christian (more like a Christian sense of duty for kapwa) to offer prayers for the dead.

The Harry Potter connection came when I read this particular line after the service, it was engraved under the names on Harry’s parents’ tombstone:

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."

Destroying death must be one tough act, not just for the man I barely knew, but for the family and loved ones he left behind.

Overcome with grief, most people who lose their loved ones start out crying over the one person they hold dear, and the pain that goes with losing this one person forever. Then, as they deal with the pain of losing a loved one, they realize that after brushing shoulders with the inevitable, they must learn to let go. Yes, the memories will remain and live in each person whose lives he’s touched. As a 6-string ensemble fiddled familiar music, a tiny portion of the man’s life seemed to unfold in every person whose lives he touched, and I was part of the unwilling audience. Some people say that opening yourself to others is to risk involvement. The man I barely knew taught me things; mostly things that have been sitting in my head only needing affirmation, others were thoughts which hoped for rekindling. All these happened at a time when I was starting to fear I was losing touch of myself.

Death, at least for this man, was a celebration of a life well-lived; he was undoubtedly a well-loved person. For all of his 61 years on earth, I came to know him, just after he had taken off. The encounter with the person I barely knew was a welcome variation in the hurtling personal overhaul I am trying to put myself through for the past few months. I realized, again, that sometimes it is better when you take yourself out of the picture: day by day, more than 6.6 billion lives are unfolding and with all the hustling and bustling, it is never just about you, it is not always about you. And a couple more random thoughts rush in: Quality is above quantity. Take every chance you have to show how much you love and appreciate the people around you, from your family to your friends; to the helpful stranger you met this morning. You’d think there are limitless tomorrows, but then you will never know.

I'M FREE

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free

I'm following the path God laid for me.

I took His hand when I heard him call;

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way;

I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;

Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much;

Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seems all to brief;

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me,

God wanted me now, He set me free.

-- Shannon Lee Moseley