astro-cigarette

i'm reposting most of my works from 2005, napakadaldal ko tlga, hehe, here's another one, originally written in august of that year.

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Astro! chararan (that was an onomatopoeic attempt wehehe)…astro-cigarette…so goes the humming tune from R.S.P., which brings you back to your humble musings…

Did you ever have that childhood dream of becoming an astronaut? Probably not, and there is just cause for never dreaming to be one anyway, especially when you are the type of kid who never entertained wishful thinking. You must be one realistic baby when you never gave yourself false hopes that you can actually become an astronaut, for one thing, there is no school in the country offering that course, probably the closest you could get to something like it is taking Applied Physics (or we may just be uninformed…). If you happen to be lucky enough to afford schooling abroad (NB: schooling is different from education…aye, aye), well then good for you. Very good for you.

So if you’re the ordinary kid from a middle-class family, being an astronaut will simply remain a dream—an eternal fantasy—something certain things are destined to be. How you wish dreams could persist to the point of becoming real. <orange and lemons is playing, don’t get distracted, contain that itching worm of singing…waha! don’t ruin it…but you’re simply blown away…>

When you are young, dreaming seemed to be your world, people even tell you: just wait ‘til you get to the real world. When you are young, you think that you can make things happen and that making it is as easy as your first addition problem solved. When you are young, you always believed in people and that there will always be something good in every person you meet, no matter how wrongfully they treated you. When you are young, you believed that you could always wear that invisibility cloak when things get queasy and just strip it away when you feel comfortable enough to share a part of yourself. When you are young, you romanticize about every ideal you nurtured in your personhood, only to be disillusioned by too much optimism. When you are young, you take things as they come, never really thinking about the next step, only the here and now. When you are young, you feel sad when people go, when you’re older you feel happy when you see certain people go. When you are young you attach yourself with memories, never letting anything go, but then you realize the one thing anyone can never take from you is the actual experience—they can take your memory away but it doesn’t change the fact that it was you who experienced everything. When you are young, you love making lots of friends until you learn what friendships really mean and be content with the few real ones you’ve got.

When you are young, you choose to dream and then you wake up.

Did you really want to be an astronaut?

Nah.

ayd rudder ve a cosmonaut…