the wordeater

Thursday, April 10, 2008

on rehab

i have been coffee-free (i can not claim caffeine-free as i have been sneaking caffeine shots from other "sources") for ten days. from limiting my daily consumption two one cup, i have upgraded to no-coffee, until i finally get my wish (actually two wishes). now, what my coffee-drinking has to do with those two wishes? i won't bother to explain.

i am just amazed how i manage to stay up this late when i've been killing myself at work for the past few weeks, working an average of 12 hours each day, all these without my coffee. maybe i'm mutating to my dream alter ego--the mutant who never gets to sleep.

i wish i am granted my wish(es). i am willing to extend my coffee-abstinence for another month, when it happens. ;) after that, i'd probably be binge drinking my way back to coffee-nirvana.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

too cliche

the thing about writing is the fact that everything has already been said. if that's the case, why bother talk about anything else? when writing has become more than mere utterance of words and an expression of known ideas, you will probably understand why.

when you write, you take a chance at giving form and substance to people, events, and experiences, which could very well do without anyone writing about them. talking about anything--people, ideas, hopes and aspirations, fears, etc is a celebration of life in itself.

there is so much about life to write about, if only to celebrate the blessing of being alive. no amount of uncertainty should keep anyone from enjoying the here and now.

over the many summers that have passed, you come to realize, how much differently you see things from ten summers ago. while your perceptions change, your values should remain. the thoughts pour in and you think everything has indeed become too cliche. things that have become overly familiar or commonplace, tend to be taken for granted, if not completely forgotten.

the same is true in people. when you try to remember important people in your life, from your family to your friends, perhaps even the few significant acquaintances you've made, there will always be those whom you know, will always be there when you need them (sometimes even before you ask). but you can never be too sure; people, unlike ideas, can grow tired even against their will. which is why in all your relationships there is no such thing as too cliche.

quit before it kills you

i did not quit another job, that came as a warning to a smoker.

but then, it can also apply to many things other than smoking. it could be a bad habit, a misplaced obsession, an ill feeling, or whatever worries causing us undue stress.

quit before it kills you.

"reality bites"

"the people we love have the greatest power to hurt us..." (quoted)

Thursday, April 03, 2008

rambling v.1_no exemptions

In school, some teachers give final exam exemptions to deserving students. Deserving students are of two kinds, those who are simply brilliant, and those who are simply matiyaga. In any case, these exemptions are determined by the pre-finals grades that pretty much tell how well a student did during the entire semester. So the students wait—brilliant, matiyaga or otherwise, for the announcement of exemptions.

[I later realized, effort didn’t count much in earning exemptions (“I tried to get high scores you know”) than it does in at least passing a course (‘nagsipag naman po ako, hindi ko lang po talaga inabot ang grade, sana ipasa niyo na lang ako”)] Teachers have their ways of knowing. They just know. And it’s true, we made our grades, and they basically add up and compute what we give them, save for some occasions when a student’s hardworking attitude and character make some teachers reconsider and re-evaluate the case. (Why am I thinking about all these?! It’s been four years since I finished school and maybe, I really want to study again :p)

Going back to the excitement and anticipation of being exempted, students generally accept the exemption and skip the test to study for the other subjects instead. There are those who take the test even if they got exempted, much to their classmates’ annoyance. Ang yabang naman! Hehe

I was one of those who took advantage of exemptions. If my memory serves me right (I sometimes get senior moments already), I never took a test to make my pre-finals grade higher. When I look back, I made a few realizations. One is when I chose to take the exemptions, I actually missed out on the purpose of the final exam, and that is the chance to systematically measure how much information was retained in my head. (I am partial to the idea that exams do NOT measure true learning, well that’s just my opinion) Maybe that explains why I have forgotten most of the computations we did in school, though I am really more of a conceptual learner, if there is such an idea hehe, I love ideas, explaining and understanding ideas, and making them useful. My point is—being exempted has its disadvantages.

Number two, school is too small a microcosm of the universe and all universal laws that govern it, still it is from where we spent most of our formative years until such time, we are mature enough to brave the jungle—that is, when the decisions we have to make are much more than merely accepting or refusing an exemption.

Lastly, for those who chose to take the test even if they didn’t have to, they sure had their reasons, but for the sake of humoring, they should have taken the exemption because, once out of school, the privilege of exemptions becomes rare, in fact, we hardly even get one.

From the trivial to the more consequential, there is so much in our daily routine that supports our contention that there are no exemptions. Nobody is spared from traffic (at least in Manila). Tax exemptions? I don’t like talking about taxes, for one, I don’t totally understand it, and number two, the little I understand about it only frustrates me.

Everyone experiences pain, weather physical or emotional. Everyone goes through phases of weakness, doubt and hopelessness. Everyone experiences sorrow and emptiness. Everyone feels alone sometimes. Everyone feels guilt, frustration, anger and fear. Then again, we always have to remember that we can not remain stuck in this loop.

In our uncontrived reality, there are no exemptions.

Monday, March 24, 2008

lessons from an overkill

i am quite in the mood for picking up lessons from my little experiences. i've been having clouds over my head, (to borrow from the song from music and lyrics which i saw last night on hbo), and the clouds must be swirling with the coffee i had after dinner, keeping me awake.

i recently got a pasalubong (i actually thought i was paying for it so i asked for a 160gb hdd and an 8gb memory stick pro duo) the external hard drive was for backup and file storage and the 8gb memory stick was for my portable playstation. my ninang thought it was an overkill.

the overkill reeled some thoughts on my mind.

one of the swirls it made: people and memory. "people" is interchangeable with you and me.

there are many interesting things to talk about memory, like never forgetting and always remembering. where do we keep our memories? which memories are worth keeping? a few good ramblings would surely come from the idea of memory.

the overkill that is the 160 gb external storage is a declaration of an underlying longing to remember and be remembered. it shows how one would try so hard to keep memories readily accessible, making sure nothing is lost, and leaving room for so much more.

for the memories life gives us, and those memories we leave in turn, an overkill will always be justified.