all grown-up

did you miss the rugrats when they turned the show into "all-grown-up"?

you remember how when you were little, you have this little impression that there are just some things which are simply not for kids; that some things, like certain conversations and discussions are only for grown-ups? well, there are those kids who were fortunate to be treated "maturely" by the grown-ups around them, as a result, albeit without aiming to generalize, these kids grow up with a more mature take on different things. if they used the "grown-up thoughts" well, then good for them. otherwise, they would just feel that a good amount of their childhood had been taken away from them.

why all these talk about grown-up thoughts anyway? after welcoming another year, and finding yourself counting the days once more, you simply couldn't help but feel how quickly time passes, and you realize that as the clock turns, nothing stays the same. everything changes. inevitably.

with the inevitable, and with the realization that nothing remains the same, you learn the value of acceptance. difficult as it is to embrace change and to detach oneself from certain ideals, memories, experiences, and individuals--learning to accept the certainty of change somehow makes it easier for you to keep going and free yourself from a weighed-down state which is largely of your own making.

when you grow-up, you teach yourself to accept that there are a lot of things which are bound to happen, sooner or later. for one, you cannot expect that a child remains a child forever. some times, no matter how strongly you wish to feed your inner-child, circumstances put you in a position where a little of that inner-child dies. and you can't say you didn't try saving her.

sooner or later, you have to forgive yourself for things which you have been tying off your neck, like a bar of lead pulling you deep to the ocean, in the past; the same way that you have to forgive others for whatever pain, hurt, and injustice you may have experienced because of them.

when you were little, you were told that some things have to wait. that you can do certain things when you're old enough. that everything is part of molding you to become a the best person you can be. when you're grown up, you should be grateful for everybody who took responsibility and cared enough to nurture you. still, when you get old enough, you take it upon yourself that certain restrictions will have to be maintained.

maybe growing up isn't too bad. if watching all the films you want is good enough reason. ha!

from Henry David Thoreau

" I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

i am a pig

I have gained a lot of weight since last year, but that's not why I am calling myself a Pig. I am neither one of those government officials whose business and sole purpose in life is to thicken their already protruding potbellies as they ceaselessly corrupt every institution in this country.

I am a pig. I was born in the year of the Pig and 2007 is supposed to be my year. Well, life has generally been good, there remains alot to be grateful for. Every time a new year comes, people become interested in fearless forecasts and predictions of what the coming year will bring us. Apparently, I am one of those people, hehe. Though we are not to take these predictions seriously, and make them rule our lives and ruin our decision-making, these stuff are plainly interesting.

While searching chinese new year sites, I came across a description of the Chivalrous Pig, that is, erm me, I found myself agreeing with some and denying others. hehe

Here goes the chivalrous pig...

Years
1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, 2031

Pig personality traits
Intellectually curious, honest and tolerant, those born in the Year of the Pig can be relied upon for their loyalty and often make true friends for life.

Like the knights of old, Pigs are often highly regarded for their chivalry and pureness of heart, and will often sacrifice their own well-being for the greater good.

The Pig can be very naive, however, and may easily fall victim to the unscrupulous who take advantage of their idealistic nature - as Pigs see everyone as loyal and caring as they are. Although forced to play the fool many times, they will just as likely hold fast to the notion that everyone is at heart decent and admirable.

Stubbornly optimistic, the Pig will not tolerate those with well-meaning advice on how to be a Pig, but since they dislike quarreling and discord their anger usually cools quickly. Sometimes looked upon as a snob, the Pig just finds it right and natural to exhibit good manners whenever possible. Their main goal in life is in serving others, and no matter how difficult circumstances become the Pig will never waiver or retreat, forging ahead in the sure knowledge that all will be well.

Pig people love to read, are generally thirsty for knowledge, and not readily talkative, but if presented with an opportunity to discuss topics of interest with like-minded individuals Pigs may find themselves talking non-stop for hours!

People born in the Year of the Pig are trusted associates in whatever career they happen to choose and often shine as entertainers, social activists or politicians.

Pigs are most compatible with : Rabbit, Sheep

Famous people born in the Year of the Pig : Lucille Ball, Humphrey Bogart, Thomas Jefferson, Ernest Hemingway, Alfred Hitchcock, Mahalia Jackson, David Letterman, Arnold Schwarzenegger

***

I wish all the good things about the Pig are true about me, haha. The not-so-good points, could use a lot of working out on moi part. Then again, the best thing is still about knowing thyself, beyond your chinese zodiacs or beyond anything else outside yourself.

let us raise a glass for a blessed and fruitful 2008...

bakit maiinis ka kay gma (isa lang sa maraming dahilan)...

sa totoo lang, hindi dapat tayo naiinis sa mga panahong ito, kapaskuhan at magbabagong taon, pero minsan, mahirap talagang hindi maapektuhan (tama bang wag na lang magpaapekto). kawawa lang kasi ang mga pilipino. at isa akong pilipino. masaklap. nakakainis. pero marami sa tin, kasama na ako, parang wala nang pag-asa na meron pang magbabago. sabi nga ni ate, "not in our lifetime". siguro, damihan na lang natin ang pampasaya, "happy thoughts" ikanga. let our happy thoughts drown the sad realities we are facing.

Link: http://www.philstar.com/index.php?Opinion&p=49&type=2&sec=25&aid=2007122598

Opinion

Where is progress in overseas jobs?
GOTCHA By Jarius Bondoc
Wednesday, December 26, 2007

It is to Arturo Brion’s credit that over a million more Filipinos landed jobs overseas this year. Given a target, the labor secretary set out to meet it. Besides, those workers would have added to the worsening unemployment and hunger had they not gone abroad. And so a total of 9 million overseas Filipino workers will remit $14 billion by end-2007. Truly manpower is the country’s bigger export than semiconductors and electronics.

It is to the government’s discredit, though, that Filipinos are finding work only by leaving their families. That 121 Filipinos leave every hour is a malady, given the demographics. Most of the men who leave are aged 29-35 years, while the women are 25-29. The government is not providing the youth with the promised bright future after college or vocational school. And as the educated youths spend abroad their most productive years, the country is also deprived of their talent.

Ironically the so-called boom in overseas placement comes under an economist President. Laymen cannot grasp what economic philosophy it is that makes Gloria Arroyo see growth in sending away the country’s best minds. Perhaps all Filipinos are dimwits and only Arroyo values which direction the country is going. All they know is that as many as three of every ten overseas worker families end up broken. Too, that children of oversees workers are likely to drop out of college because sadly unguided. And, that the officials who are supposed to assist them instead mulct them of travel money at the airports.

The government is fond of talking big — about greatness in achieving national goals through unity and all that blah. But the macro doesn’t matter to desperate families. Youths take up courses to be able to work abroad — not to be fulfilled and fruitful in chosen fields. Physical therapy, care giving and merchant marine used to be the top picks. Then, even doctors switched to nursing and women took to welding. Parents even egg supple and pretty offspring to become “cultural dancers”. Hope to get out of the poverty rut is only in dollar salaries.

It doesn’t always work out. In a growing number of cases, jobseekers abroad end up with false contracts and lower-than-agreed salaries. Or, their employers turn out to be fiends who hurt or rape and then sell them to white slavery. Or they run afoul of incomprehensible laws and land in jail. Or they simply get sick and cannot fulfill the duties they flew out to do. With 9 million Filipinos out there — a tenth of the population and a fifth of the manpower pool — thousands of them per day are bound to encounter serious trouble.

The majority of workers who survive their stint abroad fortunately are able to save enough to build homes and buy better food. Perhaps that is where the government can somehow claim credit: the economy perks up every time a worker comes home. But then again, they return uninspired to practice their trades precisely because of the very reason they left: bleak futures under bad governance. They end up going into overcrowded small businesses of tricycles.

A theory in the ’80s held that Filipinos are among several races that have missed the bus to industrialization. (Perhaps Arroyo is an adherent of that notion.) RP supposedly should no longer dream of putting up a strong steel-and-technology that manufactures machines to make other machines. It should instead focus on exporting talent as its contribution to global growth. And such talent exports should range from the highest end of scientists, engineers and surgeons, to the lowest end of a-go-go dancers, escorts and circus freaks.

If that were so, the manpower export binge would also need a steady production line. Schools have to train the workers is the spectrum of skills. But even the education system is sinking. The economist-President has not started to reverse the deterioration that everybody has been talking about for a decade.

Really, where is the economic progress there?

* * *

It’s bad enough that government, in the name of poverty alleviation, permits mountain dwellers to hunt deer and birds at will. What worsens it is that rich members of air rifle clubs take to the forests and shoot at will, as if patay-gutom. The website of one such club in Negros brags of their photos with dozens of mangled doves and mallards slung on their shoulders.

“The poachers should be punished and the penalties to be slapped should be strong enough to stop these practices and serve as a warning to others,” says Sen. Juan Miguel Zubiri, a conservationist and executive director of the Philippine Cockatoo Conservation Program and the Philippine Deer Foundation. “This is not just about ecological balance; it’s about natural heritage and biodiversity legacy,” he adds, noting that collections of insects and agricultural pests also surged in recent years.

I say just hang those macho shooters by their balls.

* * *

E-mail: jariusbondoc@workmail.com

Splender-Save It For Later

Save it for later (video)
So you're thinking about tomorrow
and all those simple things you think you might like you've been [sleeping/tripping] in the daylight you see
well, I've been trying to keep things light
So you're looking for approval
to do those stupid things your father might like
well, you might kill yourself to get it you see
but it might never make things right
it just might leave you more uptight

And all the things within the world
and all the boys and all the girls
they never seem to get enough
they save it for later you see
all the saints and all the freaks
and all the strange philosophies
the novelties and memories
they save it for later you see
they save it for later you see S
o now you're looking for some revelation
but you're still lying there still in your bed
well, I've been spilling with motions
but have you heard a word i've said

So you're thinking about tomorrow
about reliving every minute of your past
well, I'm just living for the moment you see
'cause I'm just trying to make it last
'cause I've just seen it go too fast

And all the things within the world and all the boys and all the girls they never seem to get enough they save it for later you see all the saints and all the freaks and all the strange philosophies the novelties and memories they save it for later you see save it for later you see And the best part of my life is the worst part of your day and the best part of my song is the last part you ever played And all the things within the world and all the boys and all the girls they never seem to get enough they save it for later you see

all the saints and all the freaks and all the strange philosophies and everyone that never speaks they save it for later you see and all the things within the world and every boy and every girl who never seems to get enough they save it for later you see everytime you build it up and put it in your paper cup it never seems to be enough you save it for later you see you save it for later you see don't save it for later you see your life would be greater you see

silent conversations

08.21.2007 (quarter moon)



11.18.2007 (quarter moon)



10.31.2007 (waxing gibbous?)

12.16.2007 (waxing crescent?)

lucky penny

Any Lucky Penny Lyrics

i saw a videoclip of this song for a young girl who passed on just recently. made my eyes well with tears (again, hehe...). i cried (i've been so used to crying), but i'm pretty sure i'm going to be fine soon. I'm looking forward to making my own videoclips again. i really miss the "old elf". this was the only videoclip i can download, it will probably do for now. any lucky penny will do fine ;)

ate and ea

thanks to yong for this pic :)

happy christmas everyone

someone is wishing to have a happy Christmas. others are certain that their Christmas will be joyous no matter what. while some are completely left devoid of any reason to be merry, others have contented themselves even with just the idea of a happy Christmas.

[in two weeks, it'll be Christmas once again. it is a time when merry making (should) come(s) naturally from people. in a desperate attempt to salvage the tiny specks of happiness which might have found their way into my being (and hopefully choose to stay), i am writing my christmas entry 14 days in advance, to capture the spirit while i still can. we should live every day remembering the message and feeling the spirit of Christmas anyway.]

we begin with gratitude. after Christmas, we welcome another year and it is always wonderful to water the seeds of thankfulness. no matter how trying personal struggles prove to be, there will always be many blessings to be thankful for.

• there is family and those whom you consider family. they are the people who have seen you through your highest and lowest points and have remained there, ever supportive and unwavering with their love and guidance.
• friends who remind you that you can still laugh despite problems and make your problems lighter even for just a day or two (and tell your stubborn head that there isn't any problem to begin with).
• time. the blessing of spending time with people you hold dear is priceless.
  
• hope and faith even when you have sometimes turned a wearisome face on life, keeping that tiny ember of faith and hope is a reminder that your spirit can and will remain alive.
  

gratitude is the antidote for being unhappy, or at least a first aid remedy for the weary. it somehow lifts you up from the doldrums, even when you seem to have forgotten how it is to be really happy, when smiling came as easily as breathing in air.

cheers to gratitude, we will have a happy Christmas.

dream about eggs

last night, after a usual sunday, i dreamt about eggs. hardboiled eggs to be exact, overcooked hard boiled eggs (overly hard boiled eggs), to be more accurate. three overcooked boiled eggs if you want the numbers. in the dream, i saw the eggs cracked (with the cooked white and yolk protruding out of the shell) because of the extreme heat and pressure of the boiling (will anyone please remind me of the relationship between heat and pressure? hehe). i could not recall (experts say we always have dreams, but we seldom recall the dreams we have) the preceding sequence and what happened after i found the eggs. the dream simply registered as the dream of the cracked overcooked-hardboiled eggs. so i browsed the dream sites to find out what this dream could mean:

Eggs are symbolic of something new and fragile. They represent life and development in its earliest forms and, as such, the possibilities are limitless. At times, eggs can represent captivity or entrapment. Carl Jung said that eggs represent our captive souls. Therefore, the egg in your dream may very well represent you in the most profound sense. Are you trapped in a shell or did you break out of it and are now free to soar?

Source: Dream Lover Incorporated, http://www.dreamloverinc.com

The egg is symbol of beginning of life and growth. Seeing eggs in dreams is always a positive omen unless the eggs are rotten. Eating an egg is the dream is a good sign for a lasting relationship. If you dream of finding a nest full of eggs: expect extra money in the form of a win or inheritance. Seeing a lot of colourful eggs foretells a joyful event in your family or means a lot of children. Having eggs thrown at you means that people are going to attack you. Seeing a broken or damaged egg means that you might suffer soon some small losses or bad luck.

Source: Dream-Land, http://www.dream-land.info

Eggs are a generally good omen for whatever concerns you most. They augur domestic contentment and/or prosperity and abundance. Eating eggs signifies good (or improving, if you're not well) health. If your dream involved finding eggs in a bird's nest, it predicts an unexpected windfall of money. However, if the eggs in your dream were cracked, rotten, broken, stale or otherwise unpleasant, they are a warning of disappointment through unwisely placed trust. Brightly colored Easter eggs signify a coming celebration of a happy event.

Source: Glamour dream dictionary http://www.glamour.com/horoscopes/dreamdictionary/viewsymbol?symbol_id=1109

hmmm so much for a quick dream about eggs...

....or could it simply mean that the next morning, i was destined to have overcooked hardboiled eggs for breakfast (with binagoongan and gulay)? my mother did not explain why the eggs were cracked and i didn't ask.

oh my gasss, i'm psychic.