all grown-up

did you miss the rugrats when they turned the show into "all-grown-up"?

you remember how when you were little, you have this little impression that there are just some things which are simply not for kids; that some things, like certain conversations and discussions are only for grown-ups? well, there are those kids who were fortunate to be treated "maturely" by the grown-ups around them, as a result, albeit without aiming to generalize, these kids grow up with a more mature take on different things. if they used the "grown-up thoughts" well, then good for them. otherwise, they would just feel that a good amount of their childhood had been taken away from them.

why all these talk about grown-up thoughts anyway? after welcoming another year, and finding yourself counting the days once more, you simply couldn't help but feel how quickly time passes, and you realize that as the clock turns, nothing stays the same. everything changes. inevitably.

with the inevitable, and with the realization that nothing remains the same, you learn the value of acceptance. difficult as it is to embrace change and to detach oneself from certain ideals, memories, experiences, and individuals--learning to accept the certainty of change somehow makes it easier for you to keep going and free yourself from a weighed-down state which is largely of your own making.

when you grow-up, you teach yourself to accept that there are a lot of things which are bound to happen, sooner or later. for one, you cannot expect that a child remains a child forever. some times, no matter how strongly you wish to feed your inner-child, circumstances put you in a position where a little of that inner-child dies. and you can't say you didn't try saving her.

sooner or later, you have to forgive yourself for things which you have been tying off your neck, like a bar of lead pulling you deep to the ocean, in the past; the same way that you have to forgive others for whatever pain, hurt, and injustice you may have experienced because of them.

when you were little, you were told that some things have to wait. that you can do certain things when you're old enough. that everything is part of molding you to become a the best person you can be. when you're grown up, you should be grateful for everybody who took responsibility and cared enough to nurture you. still, when you get old enough, you take it upon yourself that certain restrictions will have to be maintained.

maybe growing up isn't too bad. if watching all the films you want is good enough reason. ha!