moonlighting

i got a tip that the moon was visible again after two weeks of stormy nights (and stormy days). against all odds (i do not have the luxury of a moon-sighting friendly window), i went outside our house, out on the sidewalk, with my sister in tow, and took a shot at shooting the moon. it took me awhile to get a good shot, one to earn me bragging rights and this is what i got...

the moon, waxing gibbous phase

you can view the other shots on this album.

the irony of it all, i am still calling it moonlighting night, for after months of stormy nights, clear skies are finally over my head again.

boiling point

"The boiling point of a substance is the maximum temperature at which a liquid can remain a liquid."

...a simple scientific concept

...you never wished to get in a practical dose...

but then, there is the inevitable...

and the bitter truth

...that it wasn't.

blank page

switchfoot live in manila

is this funny or what?

i got this from a forwarded e-mail...



We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we hav e here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

how are you?

how are you?

you must have just woken up to another cold morning. work's cancelled again due to the storm, but it's not raining as hard as yesterday, and the winds are much quieter too. your thoughts seem to have left you in your sleep, but you get up and grab the book you slept on last night. in the middle of the page, stirring thoughts come to you but you shove them aside. you go back to reading. after some time, you get up and get yourself some leftover food for breakfast. oatmeal in cocoa. you eat just because you need to have breakfast. then you go back to what you're reading, you remember that it's a thursday and another week is almost over. the phone rings. it's your friend asking you the favor to help her and another friend in their research proposal. you oblige. you have nothing planned for the day anyway, except wanting to get hold of the tickets you reserved for a series of film screenings. then you close your book and you start working on one of the jigsaw puzzles in the living room. from the time you woke up, up to now, you seem to be very occupied.

but then i ask you, how are you really?

you must say you're pretty cool and steady. you just quit a job you believe was not for you and what now? for the past months you have yourself occupied with a lot of things, some of them by choice, others out of duty. your ready response would always be you're okay, resisting the thought, and the reality that you actually aren't. you may be okay but not totally. you try to get over the denial and you manage to face the truth. you say that's a step forward. you can deal with the truth.

but then, it could be that you only think you're not okay. you have always been the eternal worrier. and you know that everything is largely a matter of perspective.

"To worry is a sin. Only one sort of worry is permissible; to worry because one worries." -- (Hasidic Saying). lucky are those who have mastered the ability of keeping their worries away. they say that 90% of the things you worry about, do not actually happen. worrying only saps the energy away from what could have been a perfect day. instead, you can channel your energies to happier and more enjoyable things like reading a book, preparing a fancy dinner for people at home, doing things you have always put off for another day. (perhaps those jigsaw puzzles that have been sitting under the table for quite some time now). when worry creeps in, take a step back, breathe in and haul it to the trash bin.

let the thoughts settle, and perhaps when asked again, how are you? you'd be more sure about how you really are.

the mess er becomes the messee

"the mess er becomes the messee..."

the line came from Friend Chandler Bing when Chandler and Monica tries to counter Rachel's and Phoebe's tricks to catch them off-guard and admit they were actually in a serious relationship to the rest of the Friends.

mine is a different case. (what do you expect? hehe)

working as a phlebotomist (human blood-sucker laboratory sampling and analysis) for almost two years now, i have been used to sticking needles to willing and unwilling victims' veins to get their blood samples. in every blood extraction, it has been a personal goal to always make it on the first try.(which could sometimes be extra challenging especially when the patient's vein is either too deep, or his skin too sagged, or his flesh simply too massive) not to mention that phlebotomy work is just a fraction of your workload as the so-called university research associate (soon, not anymore), which you rather not discuss.in all the thousands of venipunctures i performed, it has always been my wish that the patient was satisfied with the way i carried out the procedure. in that case, the mess er wouldn't be so bad...

then the mess er becomes the messee...

last week, i underwent a laboratory procedure called EMG-NVC (Electromyography-Nerve Conduction Velocities). it was a simple diagnostic test that looks for signs of nerve damage and/or muscle (myo) disease (in my case to rule out carpal tunnel syndrome).

the test wasn't exactly painful.

recording electrodes were applied over digits and muscles of the hand or muscles of the foot (whichever was necessary). an electrical pulse was applied to a nerve at points along its’ pathway with a stimulator. there was observable muscle twitching as the nerves innervated muscles.("measurements of the time it took the nerve to conduct its’ signal as well as the size of the response are recorded and stored digitally on computer.")

the experience itself was a slightly tiring, imagine getting grounded several times (in different aspects of your limbs) and the anticipation of being grounded makes it a little scarier especially when after you've felt the first run of electricity (it is sometimes good when you don't know what to expect). after the nerve conduction velocities test, electromyography was performed by the neurologist, and this is the peak of the mess er becoming the messee...

**sound from psycho please...shingshingshing!...hehe...

this fine, wire-like “pin” electrode was inserted a centimeter deep into various muscles of my upper limbs. the tip of the pin electrode recorded this activity and displayed it on a computer screen as a sine wave. the electrical activity was demonstrated as an audible sputtering and popping sound that came from a speaker attached to the computer. this would determine how wide spread the nerve damage was and should rule out any muscle disease process that could also explain my symptoms (which was mainly the sensation of tingling pins and needles).

the muscles were far-easier to target than the vein. but credit goes to the good doctor, the pain was manageable, even negligible.

if it's anything. the results read essentially normal.

idiosyncrasies

Everyone knows that no two people are the same. Even identical twins have their peculiarities. Each person is a unique human being... (that sounded like a drift-off from a session with a shrink :P)

Then again you can always share these eccentricities with a person or two. When my sister and I saw the Simpsons movie last weekend, I found myself sharing an eccentricity with Bart. It is not like it was an honor having the same peculiar habit as Homer's first born, but i thought it was funny, remembering how I used to watch television like
Bart in the photos shown here.

Idiosyncrasies may sometimes get really crazy, but for some people, these are the things which are more fondly remembered, often with a laugh.

Just when you thought it's silly (and gross) when you wear your jeans out and never wash them until it gets all itchy, you discover that there's this person who never washed a lucky pair of boxers, so as not to wash all the luck away. Are you that person with the habit of cleaning up the house when things get so depressing at work,as though by doing so you could scrub away all the nuisances from work? There will be things which make persons whothey are; idiosyncrasies are part of how we define ourselves and how we define others.

How about you? What weird habits do you have?

tea ceremony

"The ceremony is a way of worshipping the beautiful and the simple. All one's efforts are connected on trying to achieve perfection through the imperfect gestures of daily life. Its beauty consists in the respect with which it is performed. If a mere cup of tea can bring us closer to God, we should watch out for all the other dozens of opportunities that each ordinary day offers us." -- Okakura Kakuzo, tea master, as told by Paulo Coehlo in Like the Flowing River.

One of the fascinating things about the Japanese culture is their Tea Ceremony. Remembering matcha from sophomore history class, the tea ceremony, although not exclusive to the Japanese, has always been a beautiful reminder of finding meaning in the ordinary things we do.

There was even this time when, out of sheer fascination of the practice, I came up with my own "ceremony"-- observing the same deliberately slow movement (minus the grace, i guess, i always lacked the gracefulness, haha) every time i prepared a cup of coffee. It was probably silly (now you can laugh at me...), but somehow, the message of the tea ceremony really stuck in my head when
I did that.

Whether we admit it or not, we always struggle to keep ourselves in one place. (I know I do not own the monopoly of the anxious-type A-personality). There is always something we need to do, or maybe we just think we need to do. More than trying to find meaning in our prosaic lives, keeping still or at least slowing down, must be something every person (especially those who are always frantic and those who seemed to spell their names with s-t-r-e-s-s, in uppercase) would be very fortunate to experience, no matter how seldom that chance comes by.

It is not to say that we should lethargically go about our daily grind, of course that is taking our sensibilities to the height of daftness (hehe i would've said depth of daftness, wouldn't you like the pun), but going back to what the tea master explained, the beauty of the ceremony lies in the respect with which it is performed.

Respect. What a rare gem in this huge minefield we call reality! How many of us can proudly declare if not to the world, at least to oneself, that he does things with respect, and by that, belief is sown deep in the simple activities he performs.

It could be refreshing, especially to one's spirit.

So probably, the next time we prepare our fave drink, whether it's just putting ice on soda, or opening the tab of an ice-cold beverage in can, we keep in mind, that these ordinary things we do can always find meaning if we only take time to appreciate its simplicity, and perhaps only then we can truly appreciate the bigger things, and be capable of even greater ones.

the man i barely knew

Attending a memorial service halfway through the seventh installment of the Harry Potter series – aptly titled the Deathly Hallows, was completely opportune. I barelyknew the man; he was the husband of a close relative. I came to the service with my family only because the widow is family, and perhaps because of my personal belief that it is part of my commitment as a Christian (more like a Christian sense of duty for kapwa) to offer prayers for the dead.

The Harry Potter connection came when I read this particular line after the service, it was engraved under the names on Harry’s parents’ tombstone:

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."

Destroying death must be one tough act, not just for the man I barely knew, but for the family and loved ones he left behind.

Overcome with grief, most people who lose their loved ones start out crying over the one person they hold dear, and the pain that goes with losing this one person forever. Then, as they deal with the pain of losing a loved one, they realize that after brushing shoulders with the inevitable, they must learn to let go. Yes, the memories will remain and live in each person whose lives he’s touched. As a 6-string ensemble fiddled familiar music, a tiny portion of the man’s life seemed to unfold in every person whose lives he touched, and I was part of the unwilling audience. Some people say that opening yourself to others is to risk involvement. The man I barely knew taught me things; mostly things that have been sitting in my head only needing affirmation, others were thoughts which hoped for rekindling. All these happened at a time when I was starting to fear I was losing touch of myself.

Death, at least for this man, was a celebration of a life well-lived; he was undoubtedly a well-loved person. For all of his 61 years on earth, I came to know him, just after he had taken off. The encounter with the person I barely knew was a welcome variation in the hurtling personal overhaul I am trying to put myself through for the past few months. I realized, again, that sometimes it is better when you take yourself out of the picture: day by day, more than 6.6 billion lives are unfolding and with all the hustling and bustling, it is never just about you, it is not always about you. And a couple more random thoughts rush in: Quality is above quantity. Take every chance you have to show how much you love and appreciate the people around you, from your family to your friends; to the helpful stranger you met this morning. You’d think there are limitless tomorrows, but then you will never know.

I'M FREE

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free

I'm following the path God laid for me.

I took His hand when I heard him call;

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way;

I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;

Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much;

Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seems all to brief;

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me,

God wanted me now, He set me free.

-- Shannon Lee Moseley