the word eater: a tribute to the one i love

i came across this multiply theme called the word eater. (this one i am now using) interestingly, it shows an ant-eater sucking up the letters from a notebook. it reminded me of two things.

one is an eating-your-own-words episode that reminds me to say things which i only mean (it helps you to swallow the words you say more easily when you get to a juncture). the other one-- which i always suffer from--is chronic thought-constipation (which i now presume to be caused by the word-eater, feeding on my fluid-thoughts, rendering me constipated).

writing has always been something i love. period.

while i have limited writing skills, it is one of the few things, i know i can do better than any average joe.more than giving me the opportunity to make a living out of it, writing has been the only thing, aside from my breathing pillars of strength (you know who you are), who has always made me feel and realize that i am who i am (hehe, that sounded like a dance music from the 80's), right where i am supposed to be.

when i am unable to write, i feel like a little part of me goes dry--and itchy, an itch that needs to be scratched, to borrow from his Airness, michael jordan. so i have to think about anything to write about. looking back, i have already written about the most cliche topics, mostly melodramatic if not 100% over-sentimental. i wrote about scabs, candy wrappers, shirttails, LRT rides, music, movies, books etc. and all of those times, i put down my pen or close a word document, with half-a-smile (the other half could be any other prevailing emotion).

through all the years i have loved writing--from the first time someone was generous with his flattery to a shy-11-year-old-trying-to-find-something-she-can-do-good-at that was me, until now that i am struggling to learn, relearn and unlearn many other things, i can say that i have made a special relationship with writing. and it is only now that i am writing about the one i love, perhaps to show how much i appreciate everything writing has brought my otherwise insignificant existence (there goes the drama queen again).

• sincerity and honesty - nothing beats writing about what IS real and true. being sincere with the things you write, hoping that in being true to yourself, you become true to the people who read what you write is already something to be happy about. of course, leaving room for imaginative writing is another story.
  
• brevity - i maybe the eternal persona of gobbledygook, but i have learned to appreciate the beauty and impact of brevity. though it is not apparent in this entry (hehe), there are thoughts which are better said and more strongly felt with fewer words, sometimes even with silence. *wink
• sharing - writing has strengthened the old teaching that you can only share what you have.
• release - sometimes, when i am consumed by a strong negative emotion (o yes, i admit that negative things sometimes consume me), i pause and write about what i feel to help me handle the emotional vortex i am in. the release, helps me to think more clearly and avoid saying things i might only end up being sorry about. (and actually eat my words)
• touching lives - i don't know about others, but some writers claim that they write only for themselves. in my case, while i write to keep the itch away, i also write hoping that the things i share would lighten up other people's trouble, put a smile across their face...
• memory - writing is a way of keeping memories and sharing them--rekindling the good ones and being brave to re-encounter the bad ones.
  

i just proved that i am gobbledygook-in-the-flesh! this entry is looong, i might be boring the few readers i have hehe. (do i even have readers?)

when you're with someone you love, everything sweetly comes by. (eew, i must really love writing for me to just say that or think that...hehe)